The basic form of my question is: Is there a synonym for 'selfless' which does not imply a complete absence of self-interest?
Yes, there is - 'unselfish.' It is not especially aesthetically pleasing, but it conveys the point much more accurately than 'selfless' does and it is less open to misinterpretation. 'Unselfish' means 'not selfish', so 'not preoccupied with the self above other concerns'. This does not, I think, mean that we should never use the term 'selfless', but to avoid confusion it might be wise to use it interchangeably with 'unselfish', so that listeners can discern that we are not implying that selfless people have no self-interest.
Also, upon reflection I am thinking that this was a rubbish question. I shall attempt to come up with better ones in future.
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